The Wedding Night8/December/2019(The Wedding Night) On 8 December I attended a wedding of my sister-

Wait -  First It's important to explore why I am writing secret thoughts about this wedding night. The main motive to write this blog is that when I broke down badly. The only thing that helps me in recovering is writing. It was the wedding of my didi (Bharti Di ) sister of my close friend (Honey Chaudhary). Honey was my close friend. Later on, he became my family friend as well but because of some misunderstanding we got separated and we stop talking to each other.

One day I get to know that honey is no more he met with an accident on 8 Oct 2019.

It was a dark day for all of us. This news shocked me, for some days I was like a body without a soul, tears rolling on my checks at every second, I was remembering everything our all silly fights, all pain and tears that we shared. I was feeling guilty at every second why I didn’t talk to him even he was wanted to talk to me, he has tried but Why I just didn’t forgive him.

आँखे नम हो जाती हैं , जब याद कोई अपना आता हैं ,

वो अपना जो भरी भीड़ मैं हमेशा के लिए खो जाता हैं |

He was very excited about Didi’s wedding and already talked to my mother (he used to call mummy to my mother) regarding the same. He lost his mother 4 years before, I decided that I will attend the wedding as I was in guilt we didn’t talk to each other for almost 1 year.

I wanted to be there “main chahti thi ki vo vha nhi toh kya main vha rhungi uski jgah didi ko uski kami mahsusu nhi hone dungi”.I wanted to make her happy.

बहुत मुश्किल होगा उसका उस रोज़ वहा ना होना ,

शहनाइयों के बीच नम आँखों का होना |

What happens on the wedding night

I reached home one day before the wedding on 7 December evening, his cousin brother came to receive me. At that time, I thought if he will be there. If he was alive he would have come to receive me definitely. When I entered the home, I noticed that there was nothing like a wedding. I met with Di, her friends, and her family. She introduced me to everyone by calling Honey’s friend. She got emotional. Everyone was broken there then her friends make us laugh at silly things. All those were just making her happy. So she can stop crying.

I was missing him, I was checking out his profile. It was amazing that I was feeling stress for that person with whom I didn’t talk for almost 1 year. I didn’t understand what type of connection it was. I never felt anything about him before, I do not want to talk about this too much. So I will share those incredible moments that make that wedding night unforgettable.

The night that left scars those can not vanish even after ages. The night that makes me cry out.

She was hiding her tears

My sister (Bharti di ) has tears in her eyes all the time. But still, she was smiling for others. She also lost her mother 4 years ago and now her brother just 2 months before her wedding. There were only 2 members left in her family UNCLE and Di.

I was sitting with didi. I didn’t feel that I came there for the first time. She makes me feel that I am her younger sister. She makes me feel special. After having dinner we slept and wake up early in the morning. We got ready as all the rituals like Haldi, tel, Budhe babu all function was on the same day because of mishappening. There were loads of moments those left dark spots in my heart, the time that I never forget.

girl-eyes-with-tears-secret-thoughts

Here I would like to share an emotional moment that makes me cry out –

Di was ready and she was talking with me we both were crying as we were missing him (Honey) and talking about him. Bharti di’s father came into the room and try to talk to her as both, eyes were filling with tears. Di was not looking at him then he starts talking to her by saying.

Muniya(Bharti di name) should I have to wear this blazer on a sweater or without a sweater?
She replied: As your wish daddy.

There was silence for some time and my heart was beating fast.

Uncle: Let me try this Then you have to suggest to me. He wears the blazer on the sweater and again asked, should he wear like this?
Di replied – Yes daddy you can wear this.
Again there was silence for some time-
Uncle: Muniya I want to talk to you and for some time they stay calm. It was pin-drop silence in the room.

I stand up and walk outside the room then uncle and di both said Khushi sit there then uncle and di went outside. It was the moment when I was shivering. I ran towards the washroom and started crying. I was feeling the pain, from what they both going through. A girl who has nobody to share her feeling, a man who lost his wife, then his young son. Today he is going to see off his sister, nobody will be there to ask him about his health, food, and about other stuff.

I was sitting in the room and asking God why he has done this, suddenly Bharti di’s uncle came and said –

Beta ye mat Samjhana (Daughter do not understand).

After saying this he got cried and left the room. I know what he was trying to say that “Daughter do not understand that honey is not there we are here for you. You are a part of our family”. Those unspoken words made me cry out. Every moment was heart-cuddling there.

There is nothing without parents

Di was sitting and her relatives were there for some ritual like Haldi and tel, I was sitting in front of her and that moment what I learn that there is nobody without your parents, nobody care for you –

Your relatives, neighbors, nobody. There are 6-7 ladies, her aunt, cousin sister, sister-in-law, grandmother but she was alone that loneliness and pain were in her eyes.

family-is-everthing-minsecret-thoughts

All the time her eyes were full of tears everyone was busy in their ritual and gossip but nobody cares what she needs and from what she is going through. Earlier di asked me to be with her in beauty-parlour so after all the formalities (ritual ) we went there.

The makeup artists asked, Why are you so sad?. Be Happy today is your day but who will tell them that she never imagined the day like this, and how difficult it is to be in a situation where is she.

Life is too unfair for, some people

After everything, we went to the marriage hall. She was looking very stunning that night. I wish her brother was there to see her as a bride. We went to a room sit there then people came to see her every time she got emotional then honey friends come to see her. They all were crying now Di broke down badly she started crying badly. They were trying to make her understand that what if he is not there, They are with her.

Then someone asked her to be there on stage. That was the moment I lost my control my eyes were filled with tears. I don’t want to cry in front of her. So, I sit on the chair, Di was coming towards the stage, two or three girls were there with her, music was on. she asked to be Smile, but nobody can imagine the pain behind the smile.

girl-leaning-on-floor-min-secret-thoughts

I was continuously looking at her then I start thinking if he would be there. He would have been walking with her. Di would be very happy even everyone was and I broke down badly. I cried like hell, I lost my control that time, I have never seen myself that much helpless. I stand up and ran away towards the floor where I sit approx for an hour alone and I prayed to god never do this to anyone. The feeling of that wedding night can not be express in some lines.

My Story – My Advice | what I have learned from this wedding night –

You never know what can happen in the next minute so never hurt anyone.

Forgive people, Forgiveness is the best quality.

(I am in the regret why I did not forgive him, just because of some stupid mistake I have broken our friendship.)

Never be so harsh with anyone you never know who is facing what.

Maybe you are facing a lot but somewhere someone is facing worst.

Life is very short do not live it, in guilt.

Always listen to your heart if it’s saying to you that something is fussy, believe in your intuition.

Because it happened with me but I did not listen to my intuition.

Be Happy and make others happy stand by with your friends, relatives, your loved ones, even without a relation stand by with someone.

“This is what true happiness is”.

Life is not having money, Branded clothes, expensive watches, Cars, Bungalow, etc. Life is all about sharing happiness, sharing sorrow.

Wedding Night

Please check out my next blog How to Train Your Mind.

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A girl who thinks beyond the kitchen. A moon lover who just want to live, life on her conditions and believes in willing power. I strongly believe that a person’s eyes speak more then them if you really want to know someone just look into their eyes you can figure out everything.

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Khushi Chaudhary

Khushi Chaudhary

A girl who thinks beyond the kitchen. A moon lover who just want to live, life on her conditions and believes in willing power. I strongly believe that a person’s eyes speak more then them if you really want to know someone just look into their eyes you can figure out everything.

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